Decoding Dress Codes

black tie gala

Image by curlsdiva via Flickr

I was asked to put down a few words on dress codes for a newspaper article recently. Bits and bobs were used. Since, I’ve spent time writing the details down, I thought I would share it online. So here goes – some of the most common dress codes we have come across:

White tie

a) what it means – it is the most formal dress code.

b) what events are they usually for?- Usually for state and/or royal events.

c) what to wear  – White bow tie, vest and tail coat for gentlemen and long/ballroom gowns for the ladies and also national costumes.

d) clothing items to avoid wearing at all costs for that particular dress code/ common mistakes that people make – most common mistakes men wearing white bow ties with a black jacket as oppose to tailcoat.

Black tie

a) what it means – Formal event

b) what events are they usually for – formal events i.e. gallery openings, premieres, annual dinner events, charity events etc

c) what to wear (down to details…like for the women, where should the hemlines be etc.) – long evening dresses for women or elegant separates, black bow tie/tuxedo for men and national costumes for both genders.

d) clothing items to avoid wearing at all costs for that particular dress code/ common mistakes that people make – avoid just wearing a business suit for both men and women. –

Formal/Black tie optional

a) what it means – It is a formal event (duh..?)

b) what events are they usually for (e.g. state dinners or gallery opening etc.) – Dinners, openings, charity events – less structured or less formalities

c) what to wear (down to details…like for the women, where should the hemlines be etc.) – elegant separates, dressy cocktail dresses, long evening dresses for ladies. Tuxedos or dark suit for the men. National costumes for both genders.

d) clothing items to avoid wearing at all costs for that particular dress code/ common mistakes that people make – Avoid wearing your work suits (ladies, too boring and not formal enough) and avoid dull ties and light suits (men – not formal enough). Choose ties with a bit of sheen or shine on the fabric. It works better in the dimmer evening lights.

Cocktail/semi-formal

a) what it means – Even though it is not ‘formal’, there is still an element of elegance and formality when the dress code says that.

b) what events are they usually for  – Evening drinks before a sit-down dinner, networking, gallery/store openings etc.

c) what to wear – cocktail dresses or dressy separates for women. Business suit for men. (Can be worn without a tie. However, do keep your shirt sharp with a well pressed collar.) Nothing worse than a floppy collar…

d) clothing items to avoid wearing at all costs for that particular dress code/ common mistakes that people make – Avoid wearing ballroom/long gowns (too much!) and avoid Tuxedos (men) –

Semi-formal or Business casual

a) what it means – A more relaxed atmosphere but ‘business behaviour/conduct is expected’ and business is still being conducted.

b) what events are they usually for (e.g. state dinners or gallery opening etc.) – networking events, corporate entertaining, conferences, tradeshows, etc.

c) what to wear (down to details…like for the women, where should the hemlines be etc.) – Hemlines should not rise above 4 fingers from your knees for business events for the ladies. Structured separates for both men and women. For example, a tailored blouse with long pants or skirt for women, a long-sleeve shirt and tailored pants for men (with or without tie). Jacket with an oxford-shirt (button down collar) and without a tie.

d) clothing items to avoid wearing at all costs for that particular dress code/ common mistakes that people make – Common mistakes include not remembering that Business comes before casual. Tshirts, jeans, shorts are not the best option.

Smart Casual/Stylish Casual

a) what it means – A relaxing atmosphere with a hint of ‘you are still expected to put some effort in your appearance’.

b) what events are they usually for  – weekend company retreats, barbeques, parties (usually when the host has put some effort in the organisation of the event or it may be held at a hotel, restaurant or club where dress codes are required) weekend meetings, seminars.

c) what to wear  – Again, smart and stylish comes before casual. Stylish separates for both men and women. For example, a tailored blouse with long pants or skirt for women. As it is less formal, dark denim is a great alternative. Twin sets with wide-legged pants, etc. Polo shirt and pants for men. An oxford-shirt (button down collar) and pants/dark denim/khaki. Tailored bermudas and polo t-shirt.

d) clothing items to avoid wearing at all costs for that particular dress code/ common mistakes that people make – Common mistakes – slippers, sporty bermudas (large pockets, shapeless), tshirts with strong personal statements printed on (we’ve all seen them.. and wonder what the..??. Short shorts, spaghetti tops, see-through tops, shapeless t-shirts, torn jeans.

So why should you stick to a dress code?

The organisers/hosts have put effort into the event and it is simply good manners to follow their request if you are accepting their invitation. You do it out of respect for your host and also for the event (wedding, birthday,charity).

I remember attending a charity dinner a few years ago. The VIP GOH was President Nathan. Other VIPs included Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. The invite said Formal, yet there were people who turned up without a jacket, without a tie and jacket, women in everyday work wear (not even a suit..)..ai yi yi!!! President Nathan and Steve Ballmer both turned up as per the dress code, dark suit and sharp red tie and long sleeved Batik shirt for President Nathan . Where is the love people??? 🙂 Even at the Pinnacle of their careers and personal life, these two gentlemen are true testament to their integrity and is why they are where they are today. Taking nothing for granted and treating everyone like a VIP instead of being treated as the VIP. I take my hat off to them..The signs of true leadership.

Fashion is my slave…Part 3!!! Twenties and Parties…

A very beautiful model with no name recognitio...

Image via Wikipedia

Now let’s hit the twenties! Love, love, love this period!! You are looking hot, feeling hotter and skin’s still tight enough to hold everything up and in.

So there is absolutely no excuse for looking like something the cat dragged in on a hot, humid and sticky night.. When you are in your twenties and you have all these parties and LIFE take part in, also take a little time, put a little time aside just for YOU. If you don’t know you, how are you going to dress yourself? Would you put soap in a chocolate box and sugar in a salt shaker?

Why then would you dress in something that doesn’t say anything about…you?

Here are 5 things to consider:

  1. At least ONE item of your clothing should say something about you. Edgy? Sporty?Romantic? Classic? Traditional? Creative? Relax? Chic? It could be shoes, handbags, bracelet, hair…Start with accessories, if you are going to make mistakes, make it a cheaper mistake!
  2. The clothes should fit you. It doesn’t have to have a designer label. That is always the key!!
  3. You must feel fabulous in it!!! If you don’t feel it, you are definitely so NOT showing it. You don’t have to be most beautiful. Why? When you can be most fabulous! Most confident! Most Vibrant!
  4. Try developing a signature look. Then keep it consistent. Don’t worry about trial and error. That’s the only way you will find out for sure. Are you consistently casual chic? Sporty and a bit dramatic with your accessories? Sporty but in a creative kind of way? Always have an element of elegance on you?
  5. Love yourself, Respect yourself, Be absolutely comfortable with yourself – it’s a life-long crusade! When you do, learning to dress yourself becomes a great adventure.

And it’s absolutely ok to change your mind. That is your prerogative. But don’t do it so often that you develop multiple personalities! I can only imagine how expensive it must be dressed the United States of Tara (it will be showing soon in Singapore..maybe??)

Fashion is my slave!….Part 2: Dressing your age..teenage.

Selvage on a pair of jeans

Image via Wikipedia

It is sad when we can’t get pass our age and dress either too young or too old ( come on!!??? – you will have plenty of time for that.)

So what are some key points if you are closer to forty than fourteen?? Before we do into that, let hit closer to fourteen.

Back to basics:

Teens

  1. Keep it fresh and relax.
  2. Add splashes of colour and texture. (you are young and can get away with more surprises)
  3. What will your closest BFF say about you? Can you think of 3 words they will use to describe you?
  4. Be comfortable and confident with your own choices but be open to feedback.
  5. Less structure, more freedom
  6. Less trashy, more classy

For the teenage girl – Top 5 items to have in your wardrobe:

  1. Of course a great pair of jeans! –
  2. Of course, at least another great pair of jeans – make this pair a darker blue denim. (Girls, have this pair slightly longer so that you can pair it with a nice pair of heels)
  3. A fabulous, fitted, jersey T shirt. (Don’t just settle for any old t-shirt!). The jersey cotton is fine enough to pair with a skirt and heels for a nice outing and casual enough to wear with your favourite pair of jeans, tights, capris and shorts. (Gap and Uniglo has fab jersey t-shirts with great cuts) – This is such a classic, any old one at any old age can carry it! (maybe not the shorts for some of us…)
  4. A fab dress or shirt dress – this is the age that sometimes, we get influenced by friends, family and fashion. Trust your gut feel in terms of the type of dresses you like. It could a t-shirt dress if you are sporty, a flowy spaghetti dress if you are romantic/gentle, a long maxi dress in bold print if you are slightly dramatic or in a ethnic style print if you are feeling a bit bohemian.
  5. Cool, casual pants or cool, casual skirt – again depending on your preference when it comes to style.

Wardrobe Budgeting and Planning

If you want to shop smart and you are on a budget, (trust me, this budgeting is smart regardless of your age..)everything that you buy of that should go with at least 3 items in your top 5 list.

High street labels you can find in most countries with great pieces at decent prices:

  • Uniglo – good quality at great prices. Great pieces that gives you the flexibility to mix and match.
  • EDC – great casual style but some items can get too pricey.
  • H & M – great styles, great price (please come to Singapore soon…)

Part 3: Twenties and Parties!

Fashion is my slave!

Oxfam's Duncan Street shop

Image by net_efekt via Flickr

Someone once asked, as humans, do we grow older or do we grow up? I hope it’s both! I know I’m growing older and I definitely hope that I am also growing up. One of the things that I am more comfortable with now is that I am comfortable dressing myself.

In fact, I am so comfortable that it is a profession for me! (Not just dressing myself but helping dress others as well…) This is where the growing old and growing up statement comes in handy to explain:

  • If you are just growing old and not growing up – you may find that you are dressing the same as you were 10, 15 or 20 years ago! (ouch!)
  • If the case is that you are growing old and you are also growing up….and acknowledging it, you will will probably be more comfortable dressing yourself.

So how do you NOT be a slave to fashion?? Here are the Top 3 things to consider:

  1. Dress your age
  2. Dress your shape
  3. Dress YOU

Easier said than done. True. But you are not going to reach your destination if you don’t take the next step. Keep an eye out for my next blog. I will share my two cents about dressing your age.

Cheers!